I could envision it all to clearly: Stuart or Debbie finding the dented door off its hinges, lying in the snow. "She came in, ravaged the boy, stole plastic bags, and ripped off the door in her escape," the police would say in the APB. "Probably making her way to bust her parents out of jail.

New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.

I've heard people on panels say, 'You must have a Web site. You need to tweet. Repeat the title of your book constantly,' and I just want to say, 'Shut up. Everything you're saying is wrong.' People will know instantly if your only motivation for tweeting is to sell books.

A woman who shaves or otherwise depilates her pubic curls has a profound interest in recreational sex.

We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.

Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?

It makes you very cool," he said, taking big, jumping steps to get in front of me. "CNN would interview you, for sure. Daughter of Flobie! But don't worry. I'll keep them back!