The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and the old buzzard won't be hanging around, underfoot, all weekend.

Imagination is the capacity to think of things as if they could be otherwise.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Nobody supports me at the expense of his own adventure. Then I get bitter: I am not loved enough to be supported. That I am not a burden has to compensate for the sad envy when I look at women loved enough to be supported. Even now China wraps double binds around my feet.

When you go to make a purchase, take a look at the product and ask yourself: 'am I being cheated?' If a product from a 'fast fashion' chain is falling apart before you've even bought it, it's not a deal. It's the fast-fashion company trying to get you to buy something that is quick on trend but slow on quality.