It must be that people who read go on more macrocosmic and microcosmic trips – biblical god trips, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Ulysses, Finnegan’s Wake trips. Non-readers, what do they get? (They get the munchies.)

Imagination is the capacity to think of things as if they could be otherwise.

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita

The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.

Nobody supports me at the expense of his own adventure. Then I get bitter: I am not loved enough to be supported. That I am not a burden has to compensate for the sad envy when I look at women loved enough to be supported. Even now China wraps double binds around my feet.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and the old buzzard won't be hanging around, underfoot, all weekend.

After a good night sleep, I wake up the next day, and I say, 'Come on, Tea Party, let’s get it on.'