I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.

Nobody supports me at the expense of his own adventure. Then I get bitter: I am not loved enough to be supported. That I am not a burden has to compensate for the sad envy when I look at women loved enough to be supported. Even now China wraps double binds around my feet.

It must be that people who read go on more macrocosmic and microcosmic trips – biblical god trips, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Ulysses, Finnegan’s Wake trips. Non-readers, what do they get? (They get the munchies.)

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and the old buzzard won't be hanging around, underfoot, all weekend.

Love is like a roller coaster. When it's good, you don't want to stop and when it's not... you want to throw up.

My favorite birthday game is Pin the Cleanup on the guests.