Friend Tim shakes hands with Perfect Specimen of Mankind. Will never wash right hand again.

I really liked drama and being in plays, so when I was playing a character onstage and I could act like somebody else, then I wasn't scared or nervous, but I didn't like meeting new people when I had to be myself. That was scary.

Loud ringing noises, I've discovered, upset Mr.Peepers.

Only a fool is never afraid, Frank. Heroes are the people who carry on despite their fear, because they know the job’s got to get done

But I guess you would look beatific, too, if the man you had been in love with since the fifth grade had told you that he was in love with you, too.

Jesse, this is Craig. Craig, Jesse. You two should get along. Jesse's dead, too.

My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad, she started dating one my teachers!