Nikki "Brandon's never hurt anyone. He's competely sweet and adorable." I choked a little on the sip of sparkling water I'k just swallowed. If Brandon was sweet and adorable, I was Satan's bride.

There will be no more British guys. Unless they are members of the royal family, of course.

I won’t tell you how I managed to break in, since I don’t want the authorities figuring out, but let’s just say that if you’re going to make a gate, make sure it reaches all the way to the ground.

I can't kill someone!" "You hit your brother in the head with a fire extinguisher." "But that was family! And I didn't kill him.

What is the appropriate reply to make to a man who says he loves you? Thank you. You are very kind.

I used to draw and illustrate, but I don't do that anymore because I just like to write. I like to leave the illustrations to actual professional illustrators.

And I'm going to tell the truth: I didn't like that Sean Penn movie Into the Wild so much. Yes! I know it was critically acclaimed. I know it won all these awards! It's very sad that a boy is dead and all. But I thought the movie Enchanted, with the singing princess and the chipmunk and the people dancing in Central Park, was cuter. So there!