I just want to let you know that when I look into my future, I see nothing but you.” That’s what Chaz had whispered in my ear at some point during the wedding last night. Then he’d whispered. “And you’re not even wearing Spanx.

Someone, I was beginning to suspect, had a bit of a gangster complex. It wasn't really very hard to figure out who. I mean, I was guessing it wasn't Christopher's aunt Jackie.

hope springs eternal, even in the heart of a fat girl.

What is the appropriate reply to make to a man who says he loves you? Thank you. You are very kind.

I don't seem to fit to associate with humans.

I know. I seriously need to just give up men entirely. I wonder if Episcopalians can enter convents?

Needless to say, the fact that he actually spoke to me at all practically caused me to pass out. And then the fact that he was actually saying something that sounded like it might be a prelude to asking me out - well, I nearly threw up. I mean it. I felt really sick, but in a good way.