No matter how nice the company one might be with, however, it is never pleasant to have a rifle pointed at one's back.

It’s so much easier to walk away than it is to have to explain to someone that you never want to see them again.

I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it.

There is a difference between listening and hearing, just as there is a difference between seeing and knowing.

Sometimes between lunch and dinner, when there's a lull, Jill and Shaniqua and I will sit around and fantasize about what we'd do if a REAL celebrity walked into the place, like Chad Michael Murray (although we've gone off him a bit since his divorce) or Jared Padalecki, or even Prince William (you never know. He could have gotten his yacht lost, or whatever.)

There will be no more British guys. Unless they are members of the royal family, of course.

Why had I taken all those useless classes like bio and German when I should have been taking lipreading?