My shoulders sagged. Really, is it too much to ask that I be able to come home from a long day of work and relax? Oh, no. I have to come home and read a bunch of letters written to the love of my life by his fiancée, who, if I am correct, had him killed a hundred and fifty years ago. Then, as if that is not bad enough, he wants me to explain the Vietnam War.

But I don't care what Megan Fox or Jessica Biel say: There are definite advantages to being the hottest girl on the planet. Number one was that I got paid for it. A lot.

if you have to say “no offense” to someone, you have already offended them.

It's what's known as an origin myth. What happened to me? That's no myth.

When people look you in the eye and call you stupid, dont look away, but tell them that half of the world is stupid and they are one of them because they are dening their own stupidity.

One of the biggest mistakes girls can make concerning their romantic life is sitting around waiting for their prince to find them, rather than getting out there and finding him themselves.

Oh, Jason, I couldn't get my locker open...I know, I tried twisting it right, then left, but it wouldn't budge. I guess I'm just not strong enough. Could you help me? Please? Oh, great. Oh, Jason, you're so strong... Seriously? That was me now? On the other hand , a guy was following me.