You know what you sound like? A jealous girl friend. And how are things on Planet You Wish?

Why should women have to fit into child sizes in order to be considered desirable? That is both sick and depressing.

Unrequited love is all right in books and things, but in real life, it completely sucks

Look, Mr. uh, Wulf I appreciate your trying to warn me about this, Ireally do. But there's no such thing as vampires. They're made-up. We writers made them up. I'm sorry we did such a good job that we made the whole world paranoid, but it's true. They're fictional. Blame Bram Stoker. He started it.

But things were different now. I finally had my head -pun intended- on straight.

Back in middle school, Catherine and I had gone through this stage where all we would read were fantasy books. We'd consume them like M&M's, by the fistful, J.R.R. Tolkien and Terry Brooks and Susan Cooper and Lloyd Alexander. Susan Boone looked, to me, like the queen of the elves (there's almost always an elf queen in fantasy books). I mean, she was shorter than me and had on a strange lineny outfit in pale blues and greens.

Someone Hot is sometimes can't be the person they appear to be- except for their hotness... that cannot be denied.