If you have the patience to wait and watch, history will reshape truth (weakest of all forces, and weightless) in the image of opinion. What really happened will cease to matter and, eventually, cease to exist.

Osbert was the only one who didn't seem suspicious. He was so interested in the Decline of Western Civilization that he missed the version of it taking place under his nose.

I didn't seem to have that effect on anyone but it would have been a waste for both of us to be saints.

The things that break your heart when you think there`s nothing left to break

This was what happiness felt like - this wondrous, miraculous alternative to dread.

The average attention span of the modern human being is about half as long as whatever youre trying to tell them.

I've noticed that the magic getting along with someone isn't really magic. If you break it down, you can see how it happens. You say something a bit off-center and see if they react. If they get it, they push it a bit further. Then it's your turn again. And theirs. And so on, until it's banter. Once it's banter, it's friendship.