I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

I wanted to entertain so badly that I kept at it until I was good. I just browbeat my way into show business.

Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.

It's good to be the king.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

The thing is to be brave and move the audience with you, instead of cater to the lowest common denominator, you know, slipping on a banana peel and falling on your ass. You got to move the audience a little further ahead in terms of their appreciation of what is comedy. It's complicated.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.