There's not enough bad taste! I LOVE bad taste! I live for bad taste! I am the spokesman for bad taste!

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.

In real life people fart, in the movies, people don't. Why not? Farts are a repressed minority. The mouth gets to say all kinds of things, but the other place is supposed to keep quiet. But maybe our lower colons have something interesting to say. Maybe we should listen to them. Farts are human, more human than a lot of people I know. I think we should bring them out of the water closet and into the parlor.

If you're alive, make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death.

I'm married to a beautiful and talented woman who can lift your spirits just by looking at you.

My God, I'd love to smash into the casket of Dostoyevsky, grab that bony hand and scream at the remains, 'Well done, you god-damn genius.'