There's a rumor that there may be an attempt at organizing a possible script for a series on my life, which, when you look at my police record, you'd have to have more than one hour to tell the story.

We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee, we don't take trips on LSD. We don't burn our draft cards down on Main Street, we like living right and free.

Willie Nelson's the one who told me the reason it costs so much to get divorced is because it's worth it.

Women are God's last creation. You suppose he's saying, "What should I do to follow this?" Well, it's really a head -scratcher. I think women are absolutely wonderful. I think this world is going to be governed by women.

There's one thing I never did do, and that was stink.

Lay in the weeds and wait, and when you get your chance to say something, say something good.

When I grew up there wasn't air-conditioning or anything of that nature, and this old car had a wall thickness of about ten inches. So we had a little warmer house in the winter and a little cooler in the summer.