It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!.

whenever I encountered a slide show titled 'Eight Diet Foods That Pack on the Pounds' or 'Celebrity Fashion Fails,' I'd have to stop and investigate because hey, it might be information I'd need in some unforeseeable future where I had become, for some reason, a fat celebrity.

Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.

A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues.

Men, as a general rule, shy away from therapy because there is no obvious way to keep score.

my mother ... took the fact that my taste differed from hers as a personal insult.

I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least the dog would be around to comfort them.