I like parties, but I'm shy, and I often find myself standing around, feeling awkward.

I was going to get the Carolyn Bessette story out of her one way or another.

I spent two weeks prancing around a studio in Queens in my underwear with nine other guys. They were long days. But what the hell, it was Calvin Klein.

We're all pretty ordinary on paper.

I too have my own demons, and I have struggled. I've made my own mistakes, and I'm not proud of them.

I guess that's what I was: a set of abs. And they lit the abs and shot the abs and sent the abs on their way. The photographer didn't look at my face once. I was humiliated.

I began to believe the fairy tales: You know, how we're all out there looking for our magical missing half.