I imagine there's a level of narcissism that goes into thinking you're enough.

I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

I was very surprised how many people were earnestly reminiscing about the '80s. It's such a stupid thing to do, like, to be honestly invested in nostalgia. It never even occurred to me to do that.

Whatever expectations I had for myself, none of them have come to pass. I grew up thinking I was going to be an actor, which I am. But I thought I'd be a very serious sort of Shakespearean guy going from town to town having sex with various Juliets all over the country.

There is something about the human condition. I don't think dogs are like "If only I was a poodle instead of a golden retriever, I'd be totally happy." Dogs are happy with who they are.

The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power.'