My fear is if I expose myself, not so much that I'll be hurt, but that the reaction will be "Is that all there is? Is that the entirety of you? Because it's boring."

I thought I'd be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I'd do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn't come to pass, and I think that's a great experience.

Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have to learn to not try to control it.

It's such a deliberate thing to sit down and write a tweet. You're putting yourself out there in a very deliberate way, and over however many tweets, you start to create a character for yourself.

The things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.

With stand-up, you can be as freeform as you want to be. You can say what you want, how you want, at any moment without constraint.

Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.