I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.

I feel no obligation to teach my readers anything, to impart any sort of wisdom, to teach any sort of lesson, to instill any sort of morality. All I'm trying to do is make them and their parents laugh.

The global business climate is likewhatever, dude.

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.

Hosting a game show is so bizarre and uniquely its own thing. Anytime I'm hosting something, I try to bring as much of myself to it as I can, but it's always going to be incomplete.

My goal is to work. That's the goal of most actors or performers: to work and keep working, and do the best you can, and keep growing and changing, trying to improve your craft.

Super excited about things I'm going to do; never excited about things I'm actually doing.