I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.

The things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.

I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.

My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.

The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.

My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players, bands that play quiet, unassuming music, and TV shows that win awards. In that way, I am an elitist snob. And proud of it.

I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs from supermarket gumball machines.