The things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.

Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.

I feel no obligation to teach my readers anything, to impart any sort of wisdom, to teach any sort of lesson, to instill any sort of morality. All I'm trying to do is make them and their parents laugh.

I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice.

My goal is to work. That's the goal of most actors or performers: to work and keep working, and do the best you can, and keep growing and changing, trying to improve your craft.

Twitter is about creating whatever persona you want to create and either sticking with it or changing it or evolving it or contradicting it, and I've done all that stuff.

That's been my fear all along. That I'm not enough, and I still don't trust at all that I am.