The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.

I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud.

I think in doing stand-up there are no rules and there's no architecture.

There's things I know I'm good at, and those things interest me less and less. I learn a lot more from doing it wrong than I do from doing it right.

Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there's so much business you have to conduct. There's so much guiding you have to do.

I probably should be thinking of better ideas on how to promote myself, but I don't really spend a lot of time doing it. I really don't know how to promote effectively.

I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.