The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.

I'm enough of an optimist and a patriot to believe that in U.S. you have a lot of opportunity and can do pretty much anything you want in some form. For me, the idea of failure is far preferable to the idea of regret.

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power.'

I imagine there's a level of narcissism that goes into thinking you're enough.

Sometimes the criticism is actually useful and constructive and actually informs what I do, but most of the time, it's sort of mindless, or they're receiving something on a different frequency than I was sending it. They're just not getting what I'm doing, and that's fine.

With stand-up, you can be as freeform as you want to be. You can say what you want, how you want, at any moment without constraint.

The illustrators work so much harder on the books than the writers do. I mean, that's so much work doing what they do, and it's terrible for them.