It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, "Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks."

I think in doing stand-up there are no rules and there's no architecture.

I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

I loved Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to be: warrior, wizard, dwarf, thief.

My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.

My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players, bands that play quiet, unassuming music, and TV shows that win awards. In that way, I am an elitist snob. And proud of it.

Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.