It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, "Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks."

The thing about narcissistic people is that they don't think they're being narcissistic.

It's such a deliberate thing to sit down and write a tweet. You're putting yourself out there in a very deliberate way, and over however many tweets, you start to create a character for yourself.

Any time I am involved in something from conception to execution, that's obviously a lot more personal, and I'm going to be more invested in it than something where I just show up for a couple days, shoot, and leave.

Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books that I write - and it's the only kinds of books I'm capable of writing.

I think in doing stand-up there are no rules and there's no architecture.

I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice.