Happiness is a decision.

I've never gotten up to see something one of my kids wanted to show me and not been rewarded.

You know you're old when you get a lifetime achievement award. It's a message you've been around too long.

Teenagers blithely skip off to uncertain futures, while their parents sit weeping curbside in the Volvo, because the adolescent brain isn't yet formed enough to recognize and evaluate risk.

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.

If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time.

Only a few of us will admit it, but actors will sometimes read a script like this: bullshit...bullshit...my part...blah, blah, blah...my part...bullshit.