Somehow, I don't think Jesus came to Earth to ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

All religions teach the same basic thing, that you have to stand up for those that are considered the worst.

If we say, 'The government sucks,' we're kind of saying that we suck.

Somehow, I don't think Jesus came to Earth to ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

Maybe it's a sick fantasy of mine, but I am really looking forward to a debate between a general and a deserter. Plus, I really want to hear President Bush have to say, "Yes, General, No, General."

I had an unusually large-sized head, though this was not uncommon for a baby in the Midwest. The craniums in our part of the country were designed to leave a little extra room for the brain to grow in case one day we found ourselves exposed to something we didn't understand, like a foreign language, or a salad.

L.A. - talk about a cruel city: Patients are forcibly removed from hospitals.