I wanted to do something nobody ever did. This goes hand in hand with my goal of changing swimming.

Why is it such a big deal what I'm swimming?

We're all a little tired.

There will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes. But with hard work... THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I knew I was not a failure in any way, and so did those close to me. It doesn't matter if you fall short; it is never a failure to go after your goals with everything you've got.

And I hope seeing a therapist becomes 10 times easier in the future. For me, once I came out of treatment, I got into a therapist and continued my road to recovery and health and happiness. But not everyone can do that. It's challenging to see a therapist when you work full-time, when you can't get an appointment within a week, and then by the time you do get one, maybe you feel like your "problem" has lessened and you don't bother to go in. It's about access.

I always have on my headphones to block out all of the other distractions and I'm just focused on doing the best that I can.... There a few of them ... DMX Party Up ... Mack 10 BC and Ice Cube Connected for Life. I also listen to the Eminem CD ...whichever song really gets me going that night