Most of us can easily do two things at once; what's all but impossible is to do one thing at once.

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter.

I know which side my bread is buttered on: the side which falls on the carpet.

No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.

Few of us write great novels; all of us live them.

We are like people with short-term leases on summer cottages; we can never seem to make our provisions come out even with our stay.

The plague of government is senile delinquency.