The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule: Hate thy neighbor as thyself.

Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.

Neurotics expect you to remember all the things that they tell you, and many that they don't.

Things are never so bad that they can't get worse. But they're sometimes so bad they can't get better.

Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.

Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.

Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty.