...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.

I think the cleverness is inadvertent.

I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"

I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.

I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.

I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.