I'm not a mean player. You'll notice I never pick on a player who has a number above 30.

The shoulder surgery was a success. The lobotomy failed.

Here's what I tell anybody and this is what I believe. The greatest gift we have is the gift of life. We understand that. That comes from our Creator. We're given a body. Now you may not like it, but you can maximize that body the best it can be maximized.

When I put some Tabasco on things, and there's really nothing in Tabasco, it's not bad for you in any way, so that's kind of become my substitute. Now you got to get used to a hot mouth, but that's okay.

Cap Boso? How could I cut a guy with a name like that?

I don't care where you are, but the fans only remember your last time at bat.

Failure isn't fatal unless you let it be.