People ask me to record their answering machines all the time. I love it. It's a miracle to me that people want to hear back those characters.

My Dad was from Liverpool, and he picked it up in the army. He'd often come out with this stuff.

Here's the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.

I came out wanting to be an actor. From my first view of the world, that's what I wanted to be. I'm made of 99 percent ham and 1 percent water. I was just cooked that way!

Oh, you know, driving around, coming to a stop sign and an entire family, from 8 to 80, will be looking at me with that Dr. Evil look - pinkie on the mouth.

While it is nice to be discovered, it's much better to discover yourself.