I'm basically a sexless geek. Look at me, I have pasty-white skin, I have acne scars and I'm five-foot-nothing. Does that sound like a real sexual dynamo to you?

I'm bigger than you! I'm higher on the food chain - get in my belly!

My dad sold encyclopedias and my mom worked in a factory office.

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

I love New York City. I love that I get to live there and I love everything about it.

Comedy and sausages are the two things that if you know how they're made they affect the appetite.

The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire. Discuss.