Nobody makes a turd like that and lives.

I'm looking forward to the future, and feeling grateful for the past.

The thing that makes 'Dirty Jobs' different is that it's one of the few shows that portrays work in a way that doesn't highlight the drudgery. Instead, it highlights the humor.

If we are lending money that ostensibly we don't have to kids who have no hope of making it back in order to train them for jobs that clearly don't exist, I might suggest that we've gone around the bend a little bit.

It’s about, when did it make sense to say one size fits everybody? It never ever ever made sense to do that, and yet we’re still selling education the same way we sold it when you and I were in high school.

People with dirty jobs are happier than you think. As a group, they're the happiest people I know.

There's really not a difference between an octopus and, like, a giant pile of snot.