It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

When Michael Jordan quit, I suddenly found myself without a sports hero.

Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

When I conducted a beer-rating session last year, I wrote that most American beers taste as if they were brewed through a horse. That offended many people in the American beer industry, as well as patriots who thought I was being subversive in praising foreign beers. I have just read a little-known study of American beers. So I must apologize to the horse. At least with a horse, we'd know what we're getting.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.