Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.

It is tempting to think of your husband-to-be as just another bridal accessory. It may be easier for him to play along with this too. After all, you don't expect your shoes or your beaded bag to help you make decisions.

People have an annoying tendency to compare shoe prices with the cost of other things. They might say, 'Wow - those shoes cost as much as a sofa!' Well, this may be true, but the comparison is so silly. After all, you can't wear a sofa.

By about a week before the big day, you will have received less than half of your invitation response cards. Panic sets in when it occurs to you that everyone invited will actually show up. You couldn't have made it easier for your guests. You have included a card that had boxes for 'will attend' or 'will not attend.' You included a pre-addressed, stamped envelope. How inconvenient could it be for them simply to check it off and drop it in in a mailbox? Very inconvenient. You, evil bride-to-be, are confronting two basic human fears. A terror of correspondence and the dread of decision-making.

Your wedding will not be what you think it is going to be, no matter what you think it is going to be.