Even if you're fat, one thing always fits: shoes.

Being popular is important. Otherwise people might not like you.

Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.

... the running shoe ... could be called the Swiss Army knife of footwear ... What appeal is there to a shoe whose only selling point is comfort?

I wasn’t invited to be on staff at the Simpsons because they didn’t want any women on staff at the time.

Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.

What becomes of the broken-hearted? They buy shoes.