How to Tell If Shoes Fit: Walking around the shoe store is not going to tell you any more than test-driving a car around a showroom. And those little mirrors? That's so you can tell how your cat is going to like your shoes. The real way to tell how shoes fit is how badly you want them.

Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.

Plastic shoes are to the shoe world what fast food is to fine cuisine.

It is tempting to think of your husband-to-be as just another bridal accessory. It may be easier for him to play along with this too. After all, you don't expect your shoes or your beaded bag to help you make decisions.

Show me a woman with a subscription to a bridal magazine and I'll show you someone who doesn't even have a boyfriend.

The most important thing, of course, is that you should look more stunning than you have ever looked in your life. How many excuses do you have to wear a dress bigger than anyone else's, at a party just for you, where everyone has to burst into tears from how gorgeous you look while you prance around in front of them? Remember, your lifelong happiness depends on this one article of clothing. If it doesn't look good, you're not a bride. You're just some idiot in a big white thing - a color unflattering to about 93 percent of the population.

Buying shoes is the highest form of shopping.