I’ve worked in television for 10 years straight. If I were a man, it wouldn’t be considered strange [to have confidence] at all.

I think as humans, no one remembers their successes, everyone just remembers their failures.

The chorus of “Jack and Diane” is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.

Gratitude is the closest thing to beauty manifested in an emotion

A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.

I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I’m able to compete in?

There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes