I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don't care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss.

Comedy writers have the most fragile egos.

I have never regretted erring on the side of withholding information.

Why wear white? It's like, forget about dropping something on it. I don't understand how anybody wears white.

As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.

I worship makeup. The basics are always: Stila shadows, LeClerc powder for my crazy shiny skin, Bobbie brown liner pot, Chanel mascara, and Koh Gen Do for foundation, Nars for colors and sparkles.

I don't think anyone wants to grow up to be Mindy Lahiri, the same way no one wants to grow up to be Michael Scott.But that's OK.