It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.

Writing, at its heart, is a solitary pursuit, designed to make people depressoids, drug addicts, misanthropes, and antisocial weirdos.

I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints.

Future hipsters will love me ironically.

I feel like I'm in the right profession.

I had to learn a skill set. I think I had the materials to be a good comedy writer.

I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.