I've always had that chip on my shoulder. I've just always been super hard on myself.

Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.

I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.

People who are good at stand-up, they sort of seem to have to do it. Something within them makes them have to go on the road.

I write a little bit about what it's like to be a female boss in my book [ Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?] and the things I've noticed about that, but by and large, it's just a tough job in general.

As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.

There's the psychotic ambitious side of myself that wants a fashion line and my own network and be like a combination of Oprah and Gwen Stefani. And have a perfume. Definitely a perfume.