I think as humans, no one remembers their successes, everyone just remembers their failures.

A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.

People talk about mumblecore but I prefer bumblecore, hyper-realistic bee movies about how bees really are.

There are time when friends have said they hooked up with someone and all it means is that they had a highly anticipated kissing session. Other times it's a full-on all-night sex-a-thon. Can't we have a universal understanding of the term, once and for all? From now on, let's all agree that hooking up = sex. Everything else is 'made out.' And if you're older than twenty-eight, then just kissing someone doesn't count for crap and is not even worth mentioning. Unless you're Mormon, in which case you're going to hell.

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.

Sometimes I eavesdrop on people. I could rationalize it - oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I'm writing - but it's basically just nosiness. It also helps me gauge where I'm at: Am I normal?

I’m Adorable. I Look like Keira Knightley Running Errands!