The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of the night.

Never steal another reporter's story; never take the last of another reporter's ammo; never mess with another reporter's computer. Those are the rules, unless you work for a tabloid, where they replace "never" with "always".

His idea of traffic safety is going too fast for the cops to catch up.

Protecting the human race should really come with a per diem, I swear.

Kellis-Amberlee is a fact of existence. You live, you die, and then you come back to life, get up, and shamble around trying to eat your former friends and loved ones. That’s the way it is for everyone.

You can't win. Logic has no power over her when her territory has been invaded by heathens.

Most guys my age have girlfriends and drinking buddies on their speed dial. Me, I have the Memphis CDC.