There is a list of things Im not allowed to discuss at the dinner table! I am extraordinarily passionate about the Black Death, which is not something most people are into.

Are you ever not a pessimist?" "Sometimes. But then I wake up.

In my defense, the corpse was entirely unexpected.

Never tell anyone to be careful, never ask what that noise was, and for the love of God, never, ever say that you'll be right back." —Evelyn Baker

I'd say it was nice knowing you, but as you've effectively ruined my life, it almost certainly hasn't been.

Never steal another reporter's story; never take the last of another reporter's ammo; never mess with another reporter's computer. Those are the rules, unless you work for a tabloid, where they replace "never" with "always".

At least you know that you're crazy. That means you have the potential to recover.