Jan built herself an ivory tower to keep the wolves out; she never dreamed they were already inside.

I’m a cat. We aren’t required to make sense.

Besides, killing all the humans will totally trash the cable schedule, and there are some shows I'm really excited to have back on the air.

You really can't go home again. Sometimes, that's a good thing. Sometimes, when you try, you find out that home isn't really there anymore... but that it wasn't only in your head before. Home actually existed. Home wasn't just a dream. Sometimes, that's the best thing of all.

I recommend Avon Skin-So-Soft. It’s a bath product. It smells like someone fed a Disney Princess through a juicer, but it works better than anything else on the market.

Sometimes humanity is the reason we can't have nice things

Repetition is sometimes the best way to deal with the Luideag: just keep saying the same thing over and over until she gets fed up and gives you what you want. All preschoolers have an instinctive grasp of this concept, but most don’t practice it on immortal water demons. That’s probably why there are so few disembowelments in your average preschool.