I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
I saw soda pop for $1.20 a six pack. That price messes with your head. You start thinking you're gonna sell soda pop. Suddenly I've got packs of pop with me. "Looking to buy some pop? 50 cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half-assed commitment!"
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.