In city rooms and in the bars where newspeople drink, you can find out what's going on. You can't find it in the papers.

As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years.

the more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.

Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.

nothing like a few restful weeks contemplating the decline of civilization to restore the humors. What I did on my summer vacation was listen to a lot of people talk about the decline of practically everything - you could call it the leisure of the theory class.

Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated.