If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day

Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced.

Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory.

We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush's proposed surge. If you can, go to the peace march in Washington on Jan. 27. We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, 'Stop it, now!'

The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.

The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended.

This is the man (Ronald Reagan) who proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency