The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.

It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.

I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.

During a recent panel on the numerous failures of American journalism, I proposed that almost all stories about government should begin: “Look out! They're about to smack you around again!

Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed.

As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.

What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.