Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.

Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.

In the first place, any group of folks willing to make asses of themselves in pursuit of a good time should be commended and encouraged: The spirit of human frolic needs all the help it can get.

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman

The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.