What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.

Rank imperialism and warmongering are not American traditions or values. We do not need to dominate the world.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended.

Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated.

We often seem to be swimming through such a miasma of sexual violence - in advertising, television programming, heavy metal, rap, films, and worst of all, in the home - that even First Amendment absolutists sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to have government-as-nanny just outlaw all this effluent.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.